I’ve said it before at this time of the year and I’ll say it again … In the words of Ralphie Parker, “The Christmas noose is tightening.”
This year, the pressure started the day after Halloween. Nov. 1 the Halloween decorations were gone and the store aisles were lined with Christmas candy and wrapping paper and gift ideas and garland.
And the questions started: What does Mikey want for Christmas?
I understand that many people like to get their holiday shopping out of the way early and take advantage of sales, but when you have a 6-year-old, you can’t ask him on Nov. 1 what he wants for Christmas because 55 days later that answer will have changed 27 times.
That’s parent math.
It’s like buying a Halloween costume too early. One week he wants to be a ninja turtle, the next he wants to be a Pokémon, the next it’s Spiderman – and about one month, six costumes, and $300 dollars later you’re wishing you waited to the last minute and made the kid wear whatever was left on Amazon that could be delivered by drone in less than 48 hours.
The same goes for Christmas. In November, the child still wants outdoor playthings – a basketball hoop, bigger soccer goals, a scooter, cones to ride his bike around, etc. But once that cold weather finally hits and he’s spending more time indoors, things change. Then it’s a pool table (like we have room, kid), video games, board games, and myriad other items to be left strewn across the floor to be stepped on.
Also, I’m a procrastinator. So this year when I saw the store aisles change from Halloween to Christmas on Nov. 1 (where on earth Thanksgiving went is beyond me), I said to myself… “Pffft, we’ve got two whole months. It can wait.”
Thanksgiving reared its big, fat head and I told myself I wasn’t going to get caught up in the Black Friday hype and instead wait until it was at least December. I mean, I still had a whole month to go.
Well, I woke up the next day and suddenly it was two weeks until Christmas – and I still had no idea what to get the child. So off to Target I went to peruse the aisles and see if inspiration would strike.
It was actually a little disheartening. As I walked through the aisles I saw things that Mikey either already has, doesn’t need, hasn’t asked for, would probably be excited to get but also will likely abandon within a week, and yet I found myself putting things in my cart simply to fulfil this obligation to have suitable amount of gifts under the tree on Christmas morning.
And that certainly isn’t the reason for the season.
But, I do have a young child and, let’s face it – the whole point of Christmas at that age is to wake up too early, run into the living room or den or wherever you keep your tree, and gape at the haul that Santa left you. It’s not a real Christmas unless wrapping paper is strewn across the room and toys are left half-assembled by a child that is too eager to wait for the batteries to be inserted.
While clothing or “experiences” or money would be more sensible, they aren’t as exciting to a 6-year-old as a game or action figure – or any other toy for that matter.
And, so, I spent a moderate amount of money on an acceptable amount of junk to put under the tree, and just when I was starting to let the materialism work its negative vibes into my psyche, the child turned it all around for me!
From the back seat of the car, Mikey asked, “Mom, can we host Christmas?”
I didn’t even think the kid knew what it meant to “host” a holiday.
“Uh, I guess so, bud. Why do you want to host Christmas?”
“Because I like when everybody comes over.”
Well, isn’t that just the sweetest thing ever?
I took a breath and answered, “Sure, Mikey. We can see if everyone would like to come over for Christmas.”
And then I added “make a trip to the supermarket the day before Christmas to buy enough food to feed the Italian army that is my in-laws” to my holiday to-do list … as well as “make a poster of banned dinner table topics such as politics, religion and lifestyle choices” to make sure we’re all speaking to each other afterward.
And you know what, I’ll do it happily!
I hope your holidays are merry and leave you overweight, broke, and ex-communicated by at least two family members!
Holly Crocco is editor of the Putnam County Times/Press and mother of a 6-year-old. She can be reached at editorial@putnampresstimes.com.
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